Misc.Vacation

The Dick & Deck show

      Deck, Anne, and I got together in the world famous Jimmy's Place in Hollywood. It was, I'm sorry to admit, the first time we had heard of Jimmy's but a great restaurant in spite of our oversight. Great, to an m.w. crew, means they pour decent beer, spoon great soups, and the friendly waitresses let you keep the table for hours.
      As everyone can see, I now have a personally autographed copy of Letters from the Fire.
      Deck is a fun and clever fellow--we discovered he has jumped out of airplanes, studied at UConn, drinks beer, and has a nice Santa Claus beard. We had a nice visit. He has since married Letters co-author Alma Hromic, something we take full credit for since we knew about it even then,
      We knew that we were staying about 150 miles from our meeting place in Hollywood; we also discovered that Florida thinks we were about eleventy-three bucks in tolls from there. Can anyone spell Garden State Parkway? Stop every two miles to drop another six bits in the basket. Toll road commissions instituted the coin drop baskets to speed travelers and to reduce labor costs (automation means no need for human oversight). Did you know that every automatic toll basket on Florida's Turnpike has a standup bureaucrat in attendance? We discovered why. Some drivers, upon depositing said six bits, need guidance to leave the toll station. The bureaucrat is there to wave such drivers on.
      Although he couldn't make it (there was some worry about whether his properly socialist 1982 Datsun would go that far), Deck also suggested that we drive up the Left Coast (typical, eh?) to wrevel and tan with the wrest of the Florida m.w.ers. Alas. we were simply too far away for a day trip. Tampa is 350 miles from our base in the middle of the Keys.
      Deck, by the way, is deckish in real life, too.

The Hogsbreath Saloon in Key West offers Hogsbreath premium beer. "Hogs breath," they say, "is better than no breath at all."       Interestingly, Hogsbreath premium beer is brewed in Pittsburgh (PA), but the 17 ounce Key Lime shooter is built right at the bar.

      Anne and I are home now, so this is our official "what we did on our summer vacation" page. The fact that we started said summer vacation in November should not be misconstrued
      The Florida Keys are the only sub-tropical island chain accessible by car in the continental United States. 100 islands span an arc extending west-southwesterly from the southern tip of the Florida mainland. U.S. Route 1, which begins its ramble through East Coast cities and towns as the 126-mile Overseas Highway in Key West, finishes its journey in Fort Kent, Maine. Since 42 bridges connect these islands via the Overseas Highway, 15 percent of the total travel time in the Keys is spent over water; the bridges at Bahia Honda, Long Key, and the original Seven Mile (blown up by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie True Lies), are National Historic Sites.
      With a population of 80,955 in 1,034 square miles, the Keys have nearly double the constant population of Franklin County in a similar area. It's a wee bit more spread out.
      This thin string of beautiful coral islands has no marketable resources, little room for agriculture or manufacturing, a regular inflow of tourists, and large colonies of artists. John James Audubon saw his first great white heron in the Florida Keys; artists here have painted the heron, the Key deer, and the occasional transient manatee ever since.
      It is unreliably reported that there are 153 art galleries in the Keys.
      Although we vegetated in Key Colony Beach (MM 54.5) for most of our stay, we pretty much can't publish those pictures. Out of our 300 digital images, here are those that are legal to publish in all countries with Internet access.

	View #1 !!!!!!! (Looking almost due south at the Atlantic)
Herself in full vacation mode
	This is what we go to the Keys for: 80 degree days, white sands, crystal clear water (It's as green up close as it is from 30,000 feet), and the occasional Microsoft cloud in the sky.
Key West invented funk.       In the early years, soldiers from the southernmost Federal garrison in the Civil War shared this city with wreckers and early parrotheads. Mr. Flagler's railroad and the Overseas Highway opened Key West to outsiders. Harry Truman vacationed here; Hemingway and Buffett lived here. The architecture and the weather keeps the conchs and the newcomers here most of the year.       Key West still attracts residents of every alternative lifestyle: liveaboards still populate the shore (hurricanes and ordinances are decimating their number), artists and musicians find financial support, t-shirt vendors own half the retail business, and a large gay community counts in the community power structure. Although the wrecking profession has died out, thanks to modern navigational aids, Key West retained the aura of a hard drinking, cutoff wearing, slightly bawdy, town.
	Here's the reason most tourists -- and a good many conchs -- go to Key West. The ocean really does put the sun out. We saw the splash and heard the sizzle from the southernmost point in the United States.
Unfortunately, the cruise ships have sanitized Key West. Mallory Square, home to the world's best sunset vigils and perhaps the longest running sunset block party, is no longer a gravel and concrete seawall. The deck is now a fine, brick paved expanse, clean and accessible. The tightrope walker is still there, along with a human statue who can take a dollar bill out of a pretty girl's mouth and make her like it. And the vendors include a pair of visor sporting, shades-bedecked, bandana bearing, friendly Golden Retrievers. Prices are up.       Here's the view from Mallory Square.
Signs of the Times       Did you know you can rent Bottomless Boats in the Keys? Since that sounds like an excellent way to get my feet wet, frankly, I'd rather walk.       Above Key Largo, the Florida Department of Transportation has posted No Parking signs along the highway. One has a trash barrel leaning against it to accommodate parkers.       Speaking of road signs, the Florida Department of Transportation posts Lights on for Safety signage along all the major thoroughfares. It's too bad that, when it is raining or dark, you can't see the signs without your lights on.       Some Key Colony Beach residents live in the Tall Condominium. We believe that the rumors of a Short Condominium to be constructed next door are unfounded.       It is 81 degrees in Hollywood. Roadside banners now advertise their upcoming Snowfest. The city will import 40 tons of snow to make it happen. Deck, are you listening?       Marathon has a market known as E FISH. E-toys, e-books, and now e-fish. Next thing you know we'll have 500 channels on television.
	Famed Key West Free range chicken (and you thought the only fauna was feline).

      ...are ruined.
      We rented the Mutt-Who-Cannot-Be-Named-in-the-Newsgroup to a family in Burlington. They had recently lost their dog and wanted to "try out" having another one underfoot. The MWCNBNITNG is the kind of dog who is underfoot all the time. She leans, she coaxes, she whines, she hopes. She ate with them, played with them, frolicked in the rain with them, ate their popcorn and table scraps, and slept in their beds. Guess where she expects to sleep now. Ruined, I tell you.
      Ruff is not much better. He immediately trained his temporary owners by finding a hiding place. Temporary Mom went ballistic trying to find him.
      "We moved every piece of furniture 300 times," she said. "And we ran up and down the roads calling him until midnight.
      "I couldn't sleep. Every time I heard a noise, I'd have to get up and look for him. By 4 a.m., I had decided to tell you I took him back to your daughter's and she lost him!"
      Damn cat came out, "Meow?" from hiding about breakfast time.
      His temporary mom not only allowed him to sleep in bed after that, I suspect she doubled his rations, too (that means two scoops of kitty kibble and all the mouses he could eat). Ruff is the only cat I know who has lost a dead mouse. It confuses him terribly when that happens.

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